Green Eggs and Cam

David Cameron visited Edinburgh last week for a chat with Nicola Sturgeon, and the papers naturally speculated on what sort of conversation they might have. While I have no political affiliation with either of them, I couldn’t help thinking that their discussion might have gone a bit like this..

Cam I am.

I am Cam.

Did you vote for Cam I am?camiam

I did not vote for Cam I am!

I do not like that Cam I am!

I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

Would you vote for me, says Cam?

I would not vote for Cam I am!

Would you vote Tory with a fox?

I won’t vote Tory with a fox,

I will not tick the Tory box.

Will you vote Tory here or there?

I won’t vote Tory here or there,

I won’t vote Tory anywhere!

I won’t vote Tory with a fox,

I will not tick the Tory box.

I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

I won’t vote Tory, Cam I am!

Would you vote Tory in the rain,

Or on a bus, or on a train?

Would you vote Tory in the post?

Would you vote Tory on the coast?

I won’t vote Tory in the post,

I won’t vote Tory on the coast.

I won’t vote Tory here or there,

I won’t vote Tory anywhere!

I won’t vote Tory with a fox,

I will not tick the Tory box.

I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

I won’t vote Tory, Cam I am!

But would you vote for Milliband?

I would not vote for Milliband,

I don’t think he could lead the land.

Now there’s a point where we agree,

The English think the same, you see.

We Tories talk about it lots –

That Labour’s not the best for Scots.

Would you vote for Mr Clegg?

I would not vote for Mr Clegg

However much the Lib Dems beg.

I used to like him long ago,

But then he changed his mind, you know,

When he scrapped his policies

Regarding large tuition fees.

But I won’t vote for Cam I am,

I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

Would you vote for UKIP, Sam?

Stop it! Stop it! Cam I am!

I won’t vote UKIP! I’m not crazy,

And neither is my sister Maisie!

But I won’t vote for Cam I am,

I’d rather eat green eggs and ham!

You won’t vote Tory, so you say –

Try it, try it, and you may.

Try it and you may, I say.

Cam! If you will let me be,

I will show you. You will see.

Say! I know the answer, Cam –

I cannot vote for Cam I am.

I won’t vote Tory in the post,

I won’t vote Tory on the coast,

I won’t vote Tory here or there,

I won’t vote Tory anywhere

I won’t vote Tory with a fox,

I will not tick the Tory box.

I will not vote for Milliband

I don’t think he can lead the land.

I will not vote for Mr Clegg

However much the LibDems beg

I won’t vote UKIP, I’m not crazy,

And neither is my sister Maisie.

But lots of Scots seem to agree

That they quite like the SNP:

They do not like austerity

They are so good, so good you see!

Oh well, says Cam, farewell then, Sam.

I shall go off and watch West Ham.

(Or was it Chelsea…?)

(With apologies and thanks to Theodor Giesel, aka Dr Seuss)

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